Taking a break from it all!

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This has been a fortnight of ‘firsts’ for me!

First grown-up holiday for me and Matt, first mortgage application and first time I have properly stood up to and defied the Dragon-Mother (and consequently the first time I have actually pooed my pants).

Oh, and the first time I have been almost run over by bloody Big Bird from Sesame Street riding a pink moped (no, I’m not inebriated – more of that later).

Me and Matt both decided that we needed some time off. He’s been having a bit of a rough time at work of late and I had the manic preparation period for the Band 6 job, so we booked some time off and looked for a cheap holiday. Cheap was the main criteria with the fairy-tale wedding coming up in August so we ended up at a caravan park in Wales.

Now I’ve got nothing against kids, but in true Florence style, I managed to book the half-term holiday week so it didn’t turn out to be quite the tranquil break we were looking for. One little boy in the caravan next door attached himself like a limpet to Matt for the majority of the week – we had to be firm when he started to call him Daddy though.

We hadn’t even got out of the drive at home before the drama started. Dragon-Mother turned up on the doorstep with her suitcase and a floppy straw hat that even a donkey wouldn’t have been seen dead in and announced she was coming with us. Matt is so easy going that he usually just goes with the flow (or with this Flo), but I could tell by the evil eye he was giving me that he was having none of it. Equally, he wasn’t prepared to go into battle with the Dragon so he left that to me.

 And now I’ve actually said my first ‘No’ to my Mother, I’m kicking myself for not having the balls to do it sooner. Life may have been far easier if I had! To be fair, I felt a bit bad as we reversed out of the drive, leaving her there with her case and her wonky donkey head gear.

We had a lovely peaceful drive to Wales and soon got settled into our caravan. It was perfectly clean and inviting (apart from the lone sausage I found on the grill) and Matt made us supper of beans on toast, which we regretted about midnight. We decided to wander across to the site club for a pint, and that’s when we were nearly killed by Big Bird.



I could’ve sworn we looked both ways before we crossed the main road, but seemingly out of nowhere, this deranged being, dressed in a yellow onesie came flying around the corner on a ridiculous baby pink moped and was inches from colliding with us! I was bloody furious and was ready to give her a piece of my mind but Matt said no harm had been done so to leave it.

I followed her with my eyes into the site shop and watched her take her helmet off – I was going to memorise her face and go looking for her when Matt was having his afternoon siesta the next day.

I swear I almost choked on the ‘f’ word when I saw her face – it was only one of the trainers from my recent DCM course! What the hell was she doing here? I didn’t wait to find out – I bombed back over to Matt and got us both a triple voddie and coke to get over the shock.

We spent the rest of the week trying to avoid her. Don’t get me wrong – she’s lovely but we were supposed to be having a work – free romantic holiday and, what with the adopted kid next door, avoiding Big Bird and Matt playing the whole repertoire from Bohemian Rhapsody through his arse each night, romance was not on the cards.

Having said all that, it was good to have stuff other than work to think about. We finalised some of the wedding details (without the constant input from Mother) and just chilled out.

On the drive home, I started stressing again – would we get a mortgage? Would I get the Band 6 post (I still hadn’t heard anything but Matt kept saying ‘no news is good news)

And to top it all off, when we got home the DragonMother was waiting for us on the drive – minus the hat and with a fresh plume of smoke spiralling from her nostrils.  I just knew she wouldn’t let me get away with disobeying her so I prepared myself for the onslaught.

Never in all my life would I have imagined her next words would be ‘I’ve left your Father and I’m moving in with you’ – but they were.

I think I have a few more firsts coming my way…

First woman to do the divorce before the wedding? Or maybe first woman to dig her own hole and bury herself under the patio?

Only time will tell!!

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Hi, I’m Florence and I am taking you on a wonderful journey into the world of nursing. I have been qualified for only a short time but I am learning so much. In my own words I’m here to share the highs and lows of what it’s really like to be a nurse working in the UK. Nurses are the real heroes of our society. Let the next Chapter commence…

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