It's all gone a bit 'Weird'

‘Weird’ is the word of the week.

I’m wondering when I can step out of this soap opera of a life and just have a normal one?

I mentioned it to my Mum when we went for Sunday dinner– I was probably feeling a bit sorry for myself and figured a little sympathy would go down a treat, but then I remembered too late that sympathy is not something that my Mother has ever heard of.

The lecture about life and how we influence our own trials and tribulations lasted well into pudding, with her assessment being that I always failed to understand how irritating I could be and didn’t understand my ‘personal impact’. It turns out she’s been doing an online course in psychology to keep her up to date with the modern world. Unfortunately, she’s been doing it with Jeremy Kyle on in the background and I think she’s got her theories a bit mixed up.

 Matt managed to keep a straight face through it all, although I heard a muffled snort at one point and I’m sure I saw him wiping gravy from his nose. When Mum finally paused for breath, I tried to change the subject by asking her if she wanted to come to a wedding fayre with me. She gave me ‘the look’ and then quite brutally told me that if I continued eating the way I was, there would be no point and that the only place I would be going would be the camping shop to buy their biggest tent to wear. It would’ve been pointless reminding her that she had loaded my plate (and dish) up and basically told me I wasn’t leaving the table until I’d finished it all!

She asked me how work was and if I’d managed to make friends with the popular girl Jo yet. My eyes almost popped out with her description of Jo (according to her crank online course, a bully is a popular person struggling to express themselves in a way that stupid people can understand). I said everything was fine and that Jo had been off for a couple of weeks.
The truth is of course, that Jo has been off. The bit I didn’t tell my Mother was that no-one knows if, or when Jo will be returning.

I was asked to make a statement about Jo’s verbal explosion in the clinic room and this was quickly followed up with a meeting with some people from the HR team. I thought it was all going to be fairly low-key but it turns out that I’m not the only one who Jo has been picking on and half of the ward staff have offered to make statements too. I thought at first that it was to report what they had witnessed of Jo’s treatment towards me but apparently not – loads of staff have been on the receiving end of her cruelty and she’s threatened to pinch all of their partners! I know we’re not supposed to discuss things amongst ourselves (the HR team were very clear about that) but it’s difficult to ignore the rumours flying about – I have tried though!

 I was really quite nervous when it was my turn to be interviewed. It was all a bit formal to be honest and they picked through my statement as though I was on trial. In all fairness, they needed to be able to filter the fact from opinion, so it was a fair process. I didn’t want to stitch Jo up (although I think she’d managed that all on her own) but I also wanted them to understand that it wasn’t an isolated incident. So, I took my book in with me – the one I had been keeping where I’d recorded all the times Jo had made snide comments/been cruel/tried to make out I was a crap nurse. Their ears pricked up when I told them about the time when Jo hadn’t signed the medication chart when she’d given as required analgesia, but when I’d questioned her about it, it had suddenly been signed and she’d accused me of being careless.

I was sweating a bit when they asked how I’d dealt with it, because of course, there was a potential risk to the patients. They then grilled me on my understanding of safeguarding and I hope I was able to explain what I knew and how I’d made sure that no harm had come to the patient.

I’m not sure what the outcome for Jo will be or if we will ever find out. It’s almost worse not knowing than having her on the shift with me. I keep thinking that she’s going to be so furious with me that she’ll follow me home or post dog poo through my letterbox.

Of course, Steve can’t talk to me about it as he was the main witness to her outburst and he’s been involved in the investigation, same as me. Carla has been brill though – making sure I’m ok and that we get to spend some time off the ward going through the plans for my development. She says she doesn’t want me taking my eye of the ball, or the promotion, and that if I don’t focus then Jo has won. She’s right but it’s hard to focus when there’s so much other crap going on.

So, going to lunch at Mum’s was just the distraction I needed from the whole work stuff. I knew she would keep me grounded – just in case I was getting too cocky with myself! Matt says it will all blow over and Jo will get what’s coming to her. I kind of think she needs some proper help though….I’d hate to see her lose her whole career because she’s lost the plot for now.

But who knows – it’s out of my hands – unlike my quest for the perfect wedding dress, and I’m determined not to wear that tent!!