A funny old week

Well it’s been a funny old week.

Last week I posted my CV online and I’ve had a great response. Everyone it seems, wants a nurse to fly their plane or lead their financial strategy. As flattering as it may be I don’t quite think I have the required skill set to become the Chief Financial Officer for a leading supermarket chain; if I’m honest I struggle to figure out that my income has got to exceed my outgoings if I want to cool the intimate relationship I seem to have with my bank manager…

Anyway, I digress. The week got better when I was invited to apply to become an agency nurse. Having spent the last 6 months working in the NHS I’ve worked with many an agency nurse and the stories I’d heard have always been really positive. So I rocked up at the interview and lo and behold, ten minutes later I’m walking out with an induction plan and a uniform! Happy days!

Ok, so maybe I shouldn’t have blurted out that my dress size was a ten when they got to the part of dishing out the uniforms but with my bank balance I figure the enforced diet will help! They’ve told me that most of their work is in care homes so that will be cool. I did a couple of placements in the community when I was a student and loved spending time chatting and drinking tea with the grandmas and grandads, they were probably the easiest placements I had.

In fact I remember shadowing the nurses when they were doing the medication rounds and I wrote a couple of care plans about managing pressure ulcers and one resident’s constipation. The care staff always looked a bit stressed and were a bit moany about being short staffed and things, but not being a carer I couldn’t really work out what they were griping about. The nurses were pleasant though and always made sure that I had a drink and got off on time, I think I learnt a lot from those placements.

So I arrived bright and early on Thursday for my induction. After four straight hours of eLearning I think I became a bit stir crazy. One module blended into another and I couldn’t have told you whether Waterlow was a risk assessment tool or a solution for cleaning mattresses. I passed every single module (thanks to lucky multi-choice style questions) and then progressed to the ‘practical training room’.

Well after ten minutes I thought I’d walked into an episode of WWF Smackdown. I think the official title was ‘Conflict Resolution’ and I must admit, I did fantasise about some of the moves and using them on aforesaid bank manager but there was no way I could ever think of using them on little old frail folk…surely this wasn’t right?

Nevertheless I went through the motions and got the certificate. A further couple of hours (most of them spent swinging in the hoist or being log rolled on the training bed) and I was a fully fledged agency nurse and ready for my first shift…Sunday Night, 8pm at the Sunshine Retirement Village….watch this space.

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